LOCOWORLD +++ MUNDOLOCO

LOCO, LOCO, LOCO
CRAZY NEWS *** NOTICIAS LOCAS
CRAZY AWARDS
EVEN CRAZIER NEWS...NOTICIAS AUN MAS LOCAS
CRAZY SURVEYS +++ ENCUESTAS LOCAS
HUMAN WEAKNESSES +++ DEBILIDADES HUMANAS
CRAZY FOLKS THINK DIFFERENT

HUMAN WEAKNESSES +++ DEBILIDADES HUMANAS

DoctorWould you like a prescription?
MagistrateWhat for?
DoctorI don't know. Some people like prescriptions. Here, take this to the druggist, pick out something you like, and take it three times a day with a little water.

DoctorThe best. The best of health. You'll live to be eighty.
MagistrateI'm seventy-nine now.
DoctorWell, you have a wonderful year ahead of you!

                                      ...From the play FOOLS by Neil Simon

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THE LOST BAGPIPER

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.

I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I'd never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the  Forest . I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car. 

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, Sweet Jeezuz, Mary 'n Joseph, I have never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.

ALWAYS FOLLOW THE HERD!
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ALWAYS! ALWAYS1 ALWAYS!

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